Category: Funny Halloween Quotes

Funny Halloween Quotes


  • When the dark night appears and everything turns into evil, just remember it’s Halloween, just chill!
  • The dead rise again, bats fly, terror strikes and screams echo, for tonight it’s Halloween.

Funny Halloween Quotes

  • It’s Halloween, go totally catty, batty, deadly, ghostly and scary!
  • Pumpkin carving and ghost hunting. Trick or treating and witch hunting. This will be a bone-chilling Halloween!
  • Let the goosebumps spread and the hairs stand up on Halloween, and let the candy fill your dreams.
  • Eat lots of candy, scare someone, don’t be yourself because it’s Halloween!
  • Let’s have a scary and sweet candy filled Halloween!
  • I boo believe that Halloween is the best holiday ever. May you have a fun and eerie Halloween!

Funny Halloween Quotes

  • Trick me or treat me, I don’t care what you do, just promise to give me a candy or two.
  • This Halloween I’d like to tell you a thing or two, it’s okay to be the devil, it’s okay to have a tattoo, it’s okay to be an angel, it’s okay to trick or treat too.

Funny Halloween Quotes

  • Trick or treat and be scary. May you have a Halloween full of candy.
  • Stay warm, toasty and scary. Happy Halloween!!
Funny Halloween Quotes

Funny Halloween Sayings 2018 You have Never Read Before !

funny Halloween sayings

I’m sorry to tell but you are older than recommended ages indicated on the Sexy Witch costume package.funny Halloween sayings

The scariest thing about November 1st is that shopping malls are already selling Christmas goods & decorations.

This Halloween may your Donald Trump wig look just as unrealistic as Donald’s Trump.

For people, who live in fear, every day is Halloween.funny Halloween sayings

There is one day in a year when my boss can be himself – its Halloween.

On this Halloween night our kid will go out dressed in a costume that says „my parents didn’t want to buy a costume for me “.

funny Halloween sayings

The only day in the year when you’re allowed to look at a picture of your ex-girlfriend is Halloween.

Only on Halloween you may fall in love with a witch.

Halloween has passed, but your friend’s appearance – has not.

Dating on Halloween has a default problem – you don’t know if this guy is wearing a costume, or is simply ugly.

It looks like your girlfriend was born on Halloween.funny Halloween sayings

What’s a problem with your boyfriend – he looks like being in a continuous Halloween.

This Halloween you may scare people by showing them the touch of death, something like a Blackberry phone.

Happy Halloween to your colleague who you are afraid of all year round.funny Halloween sayings

There’s nothing scarier than to ask what I’m going to be on Halloween night.

I’m not sure that Santa Claus isn’t a leftover of Halloween.

What could be scarier on Halloween than Donald Trump’s attitude how to make America great again?

The only reason why I am single on Halloween is because I want all the candies for myself.

The scariest thing in the world is my Google Search history.funny Halloween sayings

funny Halloween sayings

The adults celebrate the 1st of November as an International Eat You Kid’s Halloween Candy After They Fall Asleep Day.

To a wine expert: would you please recommend any good wine that pairs with eating my children’s Halloween strawberry candy.

funny Halloween sayings

If you want to go really scary for Halloween you should go as the person you claim to be on Facebook.

I’m proud to say that I‘ve outworn last year’s costume.funny Halloween sayings

If you really want to select a shocking costume for your Halloween, choose it to be like Renee Zellweger’s new face.

I’m practicing my zombie role for the upcoming Halloween on my subordinates at work.

You don’t look that scary anymore when you dress that scary zombie costume.

Taping your balls between your legs does not count to be a Halloween costume.

funny Halloween sayings

I have to confess, no Halloween costume could ever creep me out as much as your regular attire.

I’m not going let the fact that Halloween is on a Friday stop me from showing up to work hangover on Monday.

For Halloween I can dress as the fat version of any Hollywood actress I want.funny Halloween sayings

I’m going as a zombie for Halloween by slouching half-dead at my desk like every other day of the year.

The scariest part of Halloween is knowing my rent is due the next day.funny Halloween sayings

Where there is no imagination there is no horror. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Say boo and scary on!

funny Halloween sayings

Funny Halloween Sayings

funny Halloween sayings

Just a reminder you’ve got plenty of time to plan a disappointing last-minute Halloween costume.

I’d dress up as a Siri for Halloween if my life didn’t already entail being asked stupid questions all day.

Your Halloween costume makes me want to take it off.funny Halloween sayings

Cheers, said every Vampire before sinking his teeth into man’s neck.

In my life I’ll always respect our differences. Even if that only difference would be that you’re a zombie.

I am not sure but I hope that people mistakenly believe this crappy, last-minute, thrown-together Halloween costume is supposed to be Lady Gaga.funny Halloween sayings

Halloween is the only time I can easily convince others that my children are monsters. Without any legal issues.

The problem appears when you put more thought into your Halloween costume than into my career.

The scariest part of Halloween is the people who work at Halloween stores.

Let’s pretend Halloween is different than any other dateless evening of sadly thrusting sugar down our throats.

Your costume looks annoyingly similar to mine.

funny Halloween sayings

I’m sure your intoxication alone will substantially scare others.

Best of luck choosing a costume that’s not too clever for anyone to understand.

I doubt that you know that we’re too cool to dress up for Halloween.

The best ingredient for your Halloween cake is boo-berries.

If you meet a man in a vampire costume, it’s ok to greet him with “Hi, sucker”.

McDonald’s has launched a special meal for Halloween – Hamboogers.

If you bought a Haloween costume, but need to have a special haircut, you better go to a boo-ty shop.

funny Halloween sayings


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funny Halloween sayings

Top 4 Funny Halloween Quotes 2018 !!!

Dandy as candy, slick as a trick, sweet as a treat. Funny Halloween quotes that won’t stick to your teeth or turn you into a diabetic. You’ll be howling like a werewolf.


Funny Halloween Quotes

Last Halloween was bad for me. I got beat up. I went to a party dressed as a piñata.
– Jim Samuels

I learned something the other day. I learned that Jehovah’s Witnesses do not celebrate Halloween. I guess they don’t like strangers going up to their door and annoying them.
– Bruce Clark

I love Halloween. It’s the only night of the year I can wear a wedding dress without looking desperate.
– Adam ‏@AdamofAlbion 

Hair stylist: Gonna wear a costume for Halloween? Me: (Looking at my new haircut in the mirror) Probably something with a hood.
– John Lyon ‏@JohnLyonTweets

These masked trick-or-treaters must be confused. They’re a day early, came in the back door, passed up the candy & took the big screen TV.
Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder

halloween decorations

Funny Halloween Quotes  Group 2

Funny Halloween Quotes

I like to get my candy early for Halloween so I have plenty of time to buy more when I eat the first bag.
– Molly ‏@SleepingSuspect

If I’m lazy and I can’t come up with a costume, I would just wear a slip and write ‘Freudian’ on it.
– Julia Stiles

If you’re in Alabama, don’t dress up as a nun, priest or rabbi for Halloween. Impersonating “a minister of any religion” is punishable by fine or jail.
– Nina Vizcarrondo, in Time

Funny Halloween Quotes

When I was 12, I went as my mother for Halloween. I put on a pair of heels, went door to door, and criticized what everyone else was wearing.
– Robin Bach

I awaken in the Halloween aftermath.     Bed covered in candy wrappers. Looking down at my chocolate smeared hands I whisper, “What have I done?”
– Reverend Scott ‏@Reverend_Scott

Funny Halloween Quotes

It’s that wonderful time of year again when the spiderwebs I’ve been too lazy to clean become functional decorations.
– Andy H. ‏@AndyAsAdjective

Funny Halloween Quotes

Funny Halloween Quotes Group 3

I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is. Scaring men is easy.
– Donna Macabre ‏@Donna_McCoy 

Instead of buying a Halloween costume it was cheaper just to get a haircut at Great Clips.
– Northside Hombre ‏@Northside_Mike 

Got home, opened the bedroom closet door and a naked guy shrieked at me. Wow, my wife has some pretty crazy Halloween pranks up her sleeve.
– Brian Hope ‏@Brianhopecomedy 

Funny Halloween Quotes

A Fargo woman will give overweight trick-or-treaters warning letters, not candy. In other news, a woman’s house will be egged by fat kids.
– Julius Sharpe ‏@juliussharpe

Honey. I didn’t *lose* our kid on Halloween, he just went as the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle and I can’t know exactly where he is.
– Earthman Adam ‏@AdamOfEarth

Funny Halloween Quotes

Funny Halloween Quotes Group 4

When I was a kid my parents always sent me out as a tramp: high-heel shoes, fishnet stockings…
– David Letterman

This year I’m the Invisible Man for Halloween, according to this bartender that apparently hasn’t seen me standing here for an hour.
– Terry F @daemonic3 

Boss: “I thought I said no costumes this week.”
Me: “These are my clothes.”
– Just Bill @WilliamAder

Funny Halloween Quotes

I put a box of Halloween      candy on the top shelf of our cupboard and then watched my 3 year old become an architect.
– Brian Hope ‏@Brianhopecomedy

Aren’t we clever, making the kids go door to door collecting candy for us?
– snowjob ‏@canadasandra 

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